If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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