What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
did you just send me my own nude
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
