Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need to sanitize my soul.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
