I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
