i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
