Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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