What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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