I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
