It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
