You smell like stripper and shame
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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