He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
