I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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