she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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