glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
