a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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