I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
