He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
