hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
