mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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