I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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