I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think my vagina is haunted
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
