I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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