So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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