So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
