This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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