what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
