Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
