Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
