I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize