Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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