peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
