he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
