if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
