I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
