WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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