he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
