I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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