she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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