yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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