I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
