Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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