weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Farmville is her only friend.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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