i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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