Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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