Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
