i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
