Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He shit in the fireplace
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
