I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
did i just pee glitter
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
