I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
