I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
